Room 101
On mention of Room 101, the minds of many of us of a certain age will immediately leap to the TV series which ran in various forms and with various hosts from around 1994 up until the most recent version which commenced in 2012. The show only survives now on radio, although in the original format.
The original concept underpinning Room 101 was the room of the same name as described in George Orwell’s dystopian novel, 1984. Room 101 was a prison room in which the unique, worst fears of any prisoner within the room would be realised.
For anyone who has never seen it, the TV series was a touch more light-hearted! Celebrities would pitch a list of objects or ideas that they particularly disliked and would argue for these things to be validated and consigned to oblivion in Room 101. Whilst many of these pet hates were very much tongue-in-cheek, many did have a hint of seriousness about them.
I noticed when I was trawling about online that the phrase ‘pet hates’ does not appear often anymore. Pet peeves seems to be the transatlantic or more modern equivalent. I can only assume that it is far less threatening or openly aggressive to be mildly peeved than it is to hate something. Perhaps this negates the need for anyone to retreat and cower in a safe space. Nonetheless, I don’t think there is a law yet outlawing pet hates, so I believe I am on relatively safe ground.
Now, it may have leaked indirectly in some of my other writing, but I have well defined opinions on a range of things. I tend not to side very often with popular opinion as I am instinctively suspicious of any belief, idea or trend that is endorsed by a majority or large proportion of the populace.
I generally reach an opinion after due consideration of the data, evidence, pros/cons etc etc. However, there are times when I just have a gut or instinctual reaction which comes from deeper in the darker recesses of my psyche. Sometimes I can process and rationalise it but sometimes I just can’t and I know that my reaction is unreasonable and ultimately indefensible in a wider social context. Put simply, I can just take a real dislike to something. This is where my pet hates fester and guess what, I have them for some aspects of running too!
As much as we all want to project ourselves as open-minded and thoroughly reasonable, I feel sure all you runners out there all have your own pet hates too. I am not talking about personal preferences here. I am talking about those things that get under your skin or really push your buttons, even when you know they shouldn’t.
The order is a bit random although in a rough, ascending order of annoyance, other than #1 which most definitely occupies top spot. Here then are my Top 10 for my personal running Room 101.
#10 Petty Competitiveness
A healthy dose of competition is great, even in the amateur ranks, but I really can’t be bothered with people who take it to the next level, especially where there is no appreciable gain or reason to do so.
Many of us will have stood around before the start of a race and observed others. There are always a few who spend their time eyeing other runners up and down. I have no doubt for some it is a silent fashion/kit critique that is taking place but for others they are simply looking at you trying to work out if you are competition for them, or not. How they think they can tell I do not know but they are doing it anyway.
I was running recently in Dundee on a stretch which is very popular with runners of all ages and abilities. I was running at a very fixed pace and was slowly gaining on another runner ahead of me. As I got closer, the runner noticed me coming up slowly behind and immediately increased pace to try and stay ahead. He (yes, in my experience it is always men that do this!) doesn’t know me from Adam, I don’t know him, and we will probably never come into contact again. Notwithstanding, his fragile ego couldn’t cope with the fact that I was slightly faster that day despite me just minding my own running business.
The opposite also occurs whereby you are overtaken by another runner, at increased pace from the speed they were running before they overtook you. It is usually a giveaway when they speed past then suddenly stop gaining distance on you a little further on.
On a different occasion, I was in the last few miles of an ultra when I came alongside another runner. There was the usual brief conversation as to how we were faring, when out of the blue he asked me how old I was. This seemed a little random to me, but I told him anyway and thereafter he had a bit of a burst of pace. He finished a minute or so ahead of me in the end and was picking up his prize for 1st male in our mutual age category. Maybe I just have a different outlook and his motivation was not really out of the ordinary, but the manner of it just came across as a little sad and petty.
My final example is from a self-sufficient stage race. The day before the start of the race and as we were preparing to leave our accommodation, one of the competitors took it upon himself to produce a set of scales and then proceeded to weigh everyone’s pack. It was pitched in a light-hearted manner of course, to help his fellow competitors and as a bit of fun. Bullshit. He just wanted to know how his own pack weight stacked up against everyone else’s and it was blindingly obvious that this was his motivation.
I think I was the only person to refuse. Firstly, I knew exactly how much my pack weighed but more importantly, I knew how much not knowing would gnaw away at his own insecurity. It was thoroughly entertaining.
#9 Self-declarations of madness
This isn’t just a running issue. Tread warily around anyone who declares themself to all and sundry to be mad, crazy, wacky, zany or anything similar. They are invariably none of those things and are usually just profoundly obtrusive and irritating.
In the running world, ultra runners are the worst offenders. It is commonplace in my experience for a lot of ultra runners to declare themselves to be mad or crazy to explain what they do. Get over yourselves!
Firstly, it perpetuates the myth that ultra marathons are purely the domain of an elite uber-class of human when they are actually surprisingly attainable and accessible with some appropriate training and motivation. It is nothing more than an oblique attempt at self-aggrandizement.
The people who are crazy are the ones who are smoking, drinking or eating themselves into an early grave and/or who choose to do f*!k all by way of meaningful exercise.
Secondly, the first paragraph applies.
#8 Photo poses
Now I know I am just going to come across here as a grumpy, soulless buzzkill.
Remember though that these are my pet hates, the things that make me grind my teeth. You don’t have to agree!
Although this blog is littered with photos of me, I actually don’t much like being photographed. You have no idea how many photos of me have been discarded or deleted along the way so if you think some you have seen aren’t that flattering, they really are the cream of the crop. Frightening, I know.
Aside from the fact that most race photographers must only seek out locations where you are guaranteed to be walking rather than running, a percentage of participants seem determined to take the opportunity to demonstrate their pleasure or prowess by posing for the camera. Now, I can live with a smile. Even a wave would be acceptable. But please, show restraint and try and retain some personal dignity.
There are a few poses in particular that manage to rile me.
First is the exaggerated star jump with accompanying gaping mouth and wide eyes. It is the running photo equivalent of the cartoon character who has been plugged into the mains. WTF.
Second is the jumping heel click. What is that supposed to represent? Besides, most people don’t even do it properly which is inexcusable as I have found that there are pictorial step-by-step guides online showing how it is to be done. I kid you not, it is very worrying.
Lastly, why do runners perform bodybuilding poses for photos? It is a running race, not Mr Universe, even if you do happen to have biceps that are visible to the naked eye. It is not an affirmation of power or prowess. You are just showing everyone that you have pipe-cleaner arms.
#7 Biting Medals
This sneaks in at number 7, although probably similar to #6 in some respects.
Now before you say it is just sour grapes, I need to make clear that I have been the recipient of several gold medals in addition to a smattering of the other two colours. OK, so it wasn’t the Olympics and I’m not going to say what they were for, but I can be clear about one thing. I did not at any time bite any of my medals.
I realise it is a long-standing tradition although I am not going to trot out the origins of this irritating throwback to the past.
I could also be incredibly dull and point out that even Olympic gold medals are not solid gold.
I even acknowledge that media and photographers actively encourage it for the money shot.
It just really pisses me off and needs no further explanation. Also, I hate people doing something just because they are told to or because everyone else does it. It’s a bit like having tattoos really . Now that so many people have them, they’re just not cool any more.
#6 Meaningless distance comparisons
This one does need a bit of explanation.
A half marathon is 13 miles 192.5 yards or 21.0975 metres in distance.
A marathon is 26 miles 385 yards or 42.195 metres in distance.
I know that, you say. So what? The point is that these are distances that are totally arbitrary and utterly irrelevant unless you are engaged in running exactly those distances and not a yard more or less.
Now I am sure most runners are aware that an ultra-marathon is any distance longer than a marathon. That is the only context in which a marathon is relevant to any ultra. Even trail marathons are rarely, if ever, exactly 42.105 KM in length. They are usually an approximation of the distance, give or take a kilometre or five!
Even if the distances were always identical, 26.2 miles on trail bear very little comparison to 26.2 miles of running on a road or tarmac surface, particularly under controlled or race conditions.
So, why do so many runners, content creators and commentators feel compelled to break down ultra distances into units of marathons and half-marathons? Maybe we are back to that self-aggrandizement thing again.
These are not relevant milestones in an ultra, nor are they any kind of meaningful indicator of progress or anything else for that matter. It doesn’t matter a toss that a 100 mile ultra is just under four marathons in equivalent distance. I’ll review my position on the day that Eliud Kipchoge decides to throw four road marathons together whilst wearing a pack full of mandatory gear, chatting away to other runners, listening to music and podcasts, stopping every few miles to eat or have a quick kip and walking a good proportion of the distance.
In a 100K ultra, having 26.2 miles to go is no more an indicator of anything than having 28 or 24 miles to go. Reaching 13.1 miles in a 50K trail ultra is of no more significance than reaching 12 or 14 miles.
If anyone wants to jump to the defence and claim that it is only done with the best of intentions as it is more relatable to non-runners, that is nonsense. It means nothing to a non-runner because they have never run a half or full marathon, even if there was any meaningful comparison anyway between the two disciplines which there is not.
If you know what’s good for you, don’t start me on breaking down elevation gain into units of increments of Mount Everest….
Enough said. Rant over.
#5 Large Races
Firstly, I acknowledge that this may well be more of a personal preference than a pet hate.
I have explained elsewhere that I have come to dislike larger races. For me, they have almost become the very antithesis of what I believe that trail running is all about. I know it is a very personal thing but for me, trail running is about the experience of running in the outdoors where the elements of peace, nature and the environment are central to the overall experience.
Being surrounded by countless others, jostling on the trail, the endless irritating chatter and clicking of poles is just not a pleasant experience. That is before you have to deal with the delays, pushing and shoving at aid stations aside from the alarming lack of general consideration and etiquette that is all too often a feature of the much larger races.
No point in saying much more. It is just not for me.
#4 Stampede Starts
This is arguably part and parcel of the nonsense which taints the type of races described at #5.
I know I have on occasion set off at a pace that was a bit quicker than was prudent. I think most of us have. However, that is very different from the stampede that I have seen at the start of quite a number of races. It is an ultra-marathon folks. You are not escaping from a zombie apocalypse.
Again, I understand that no-one wants to be caught a mile or so into a race behind much slower runners. However, unless your pace is commensurate with such a starting position, pushing towards the front of the start corral then sprinting away in front of others actually makes you part of the problem. At some point you will slow down considerably, and others will want to pass you.
The problem is magnified if there is a significant climb at an early stage of the race. People sprint off the line only for the whole conga-line to then grind to a virtual (often actual!) standstill as soon as the first hill arrives. Anyone who has tried to set off from the line at a sensible, sustainable pace is left behind in the stampede, only to be caught a while later behind droves of runners who are actually slower in pace.
This happened to me in the Julian Alps 60K Sky Race in 2023. There was a ridiculous mass sprint from the start only for the whole mid pack of the race to grind to a complete standstill a couple of miles into the race once the trail narrowed and the climbing started.
I was stuck behind what could have been up to 100 or more slower competitors for the entirety of the first huge climb which was nearly the first 10K of the race. Much of the route was fantastic but the experience of the first 10K definitely marred my enjoyment of the race as a whole.
The first few miles of the 69K race of the Istria 100 in 2024 were even worse. I can only imagine how bad it is for mid pack runners at the likes of UTMB or CCC. I certainly would never want to experience it.
Some races do make attempts to combat the problem, but many should do more.
The big road races get it right because they have to. It would otherwise be carnage. That said, it is easier to rank runners in groups at a start line based on projected finish time. The latter is so much easier to predict in a road race of defined distance.
I have to credit the organisers of the Cappadocia Ultra Trail which I attended in 2023. Runners were allocated defined sections of the start corral in accordance with their racing pedigree. I think it was based on ITRA ranking rather than UTMB index. This did lead to a much more orderly and mature start as most groups set off at a pace which was broadly similar to those immediately around them and with slower runners mostly behind.
#3 Mandatory Kit checks
I should probably clarify that I am really talking about the lack of random or supplementary kit checks and not the routine checks of mandatory kit that take place prior to a race.
I know that there are significant logistical challenges involved, particularly with larger races but I think we all know of or have experienced some fairly obvious non-compliance which is never challenged.
Checking mandatory kit at registration (often not even on race day) is no indicator whatsoever that runners are compliant at the start line. Fortunately, most are compliant because they take their own safety seriously and they believe in a level playing field.
Organisers rightly emphasise the importance of mandatory kit in written or verbal briefing. Most rightly talk about the safety considerations behind the required kit. However, many need to do more to convincingly demonstrate they are serious about it.
How often have you participated in a race and have seen other competitors with a pack or waistbelt so small or empty that you know it cannot possibly contain all of the mandatory kit, however lightweight or compact? I have to say that I include some elite runners in this as well. That said, the live coverage of UTMB this year did show some of the front-runners being the subject of random kit-checks at some of the aid stations. This is good to see.
Not so long ago, I participated in a race with a small number of competitors, so there was little or no excuse for what I am about to describe. It was staged in a fairly remote, mountainous environment and every piece of mandatory kit was clearly justified.
A couple of runners were so obviously not carrying the full kit list that they were challenged by some of their peers. They openly admitted that they were only carrying some of the required kit and were not especially perturbed at being challenged. The organisers were made aware that this was an issue within the field and yet nothing was done, despite the repeated emphasis on safety that had been made during race briefings.
I think I can safely say that despite indicators, even promises, that random kit checks would take place during a race, I have only ever seen them conducted twice. That was at the Gran Trail Collserola in Barcelona in 2017 and more recently at the Costa Blanca trails when runners were funnelled into the starting corral past a random kit check. Yes, it took time and organisation, but I was impressed that they did it nonetheless.
Race Directors – if you really are serious about safety (never mind fairness!), please make this more of a priority.
#2 Noisy Treadmill Running
Firstly, I do genuinely think that any runner who turns their nose up at treadmill running is either a running snob or an idiot. Maybe both.
That said, I do wonder sometimes why someone would choose to do all of their running on a treadmill rather than experience running an actual route in the great outdoors. It is of course down to what each person wants to do. Unfortunately, there are also a percentage of runners who are genuinely apprehensive, even frightened to run outdoors because they don’t feel comfortable or safe. What a sad indictment on our society.
I use the treadmill at the gym quite regularly. It is a useful way to build up running in a controlled and incremental way after an injury. It is a good platform for working on running pace, cadence and form. I also like to combine hill intervals with lower body strength work. Sometimes I am just not in the mood to get soaked if it is pissing down or if is too icy outside.
Treadmills have their place but like all the other kit in the gym, they should be used with due consideration for other gym users. One thing that I simply cannot abide is noisy treadmill running and I refuse to accept that there is any reasonable excuse for it other than being a poor runner and/or an inconsiderate arsehole. When I hear it at the gym, I can feel my blood start to boil, particularly if I am using another treadmill in the vicinity.
The vast majority of people can run quietly on the treadmill, regardless of gender, age, speed and body weight so it is not as if it is a dark art. It is just about applying basic running and treadmill techniques required to reduce unnecessary noise and banging.
It is not about being fast or slow either as the worst culprits are not necessarily the ones trying to set the treadmill to Usain Bolt 100M pace. That said, some of the worst offenders are often the ones who stand on the side rails, wind the belt up to the max then jump on at a full-on thudding sprint whilst groaning or bellowing like a rutting stag.
#1 Running Poles
Whilst I think the top five are generally reflective of some of the things that annoy me most, there is no doubt in my mind as to my number one. Before I go on, I would just like to reiterate that not all of my pet hates are necessarily justifiable or defensible based on rational argument. That is probably never truer than when I get going on the subject of poles.
I can describe some things about their use that go some way towards explaining but I simply abhor poles with a level of passion that I honestly didn’t realise I could muster and indeed sustain over a long period of time. It is not something I grew into either or for which there was a trigger event that traumatised me irreparably. For as long as I can remember being a runner, I have loathed poles.
I see how commonplace their use has become. I hear and to some extent accept that they might provide some propulsion or assistance to the runner. None of that makes any difference, they are simply an abomination. I hate the sight of them. I hate the tapping and scraping sound they make. I hate everything about them.
Setting my personal rancour aside, there are in my opinion some very genuine issues with the use of poles in trail and ultra races. Mostly they arise from irresponsible and inconsiderate use. That is partly the fault of individuals, but I think race management plays a big part too.
They are a particular problem in races with a larger field. I refer back to numbers 4 and 5 on this list. Add poles into the mix and the first miles of many races are simply a perfect storm of misery. Aside from the jostling, sudden standstills and uphill death marches, the careless and inconsiderate use of poles is actually a hazard, not just an irritation.
I DNF’d the 69K race of the Istria 100 in 2024. I think I have listed the cause elsewhere as ‘due to vile mood’ and that was the case. It was the perfect combination of a large field and a stampede start followed by an early climb which brought the entire midpack to a standstill in some parts. On the first climb, despite trying to create space, I was jabbed hard in the thigh with a pole by an idiot in front of me. Several miles later, despite some thinning of the field, another idiot hit me hard in the ribs with the metal tip of his pole. This happened on a downhill! It was after this race that I decided I would no longer enter any race with a large field.
I believe some races now prohibit the use of poles until a certain point in the race, be that at a prescribed distance or from a certain checkpoint onwards. Personal opinions aside, I do believe this is a very positive step from a point of view of safety and overall runner experience.
I really don’t care how useful anyone thinks poles are, I would simply ban their use in all competition at every level. I hate them with a vengeance.
So, does it feel good to get all that off my chest? Maybe a bit. In the end though, it’s all down to personality, personal preference and opinion.
As much as you might want to pretend otherwise, you won’t need to do much soul-searching to unearth your own running pet hates!
